Nigel Slater’s Halloweiners

Nigel Slater is not a fan of trick-or-treating. In fact, he says that he’d “happily see the intrusion of trick-or-treating outlawed.” Anyone who disapproves of this tooth-rotting ritual is almost immediately out in my book. However, I think Slater may have the only passable excuse: he likes the actual food—the hearty, heavy, Halloween meal—too much to wait for all the kiddies to return from their candy-chase.

In Kitchen Diaries, Slater deems October 31st a day of bangers and brownies. “Piping-hot casseroles and deep pots of beans…sausages and steaming piles of potato and…dense, chocolatey cakes” are his ideal food groups on the ghoulish day. And, after reading through his recipes, I am happy to skirt around the candy corn and Reese’s cups to get to the good stuff as well.

Slater fries up a few sausages until they are golden brown. He boils about a pound of potatoes in salty water. He drains and mashes them up, and adds parsley, butter, and salt. He then heats cream and two types of mustard together before incorporating them into the taters. I’d fry some garlic and onions alongside the sausages to add an extra zing to the mash, and also, because vampires have an aversion to garlic.

Lay a solid bed of potatoes onto two plates, pile the garlic and onions atop, and then ladle on the fried sausages. This will make for a warm and filling first course on the spooky eve. There won’t be many ghosts or goblins coming near your breath if you cleaned your plate.

Slater recommends finishing off the meal with a simple (no nuts, no flavorings) brownie. I like his preliminary idea of rich, dark fudgey chocolate, but I’d add espresso and cinnamon to my recipe and serve up the squares with steamed milk spiked with a shot of frangelico, the tasty Italian hazelnut liqueur.

Slater is right: a meal like this will leave anyone considering candy-craving kids at the door an outlandish interruption. Of course, it IS tradition; so double or triple your brownie recipe and leave a plate of them outside. Then, kick back and enjoy the feast that will have all epicureans rising from the dead to steal a bite.